November 3, 2019
Relationships. Perhaps it’s a mark of getting older and more reflective or an aftereffect of having a heart attack at 43 but either way I find myself pausing more often in life than before. In those pauses, I find myself thinking about relationships more often than before. This week I attended the celebration of life for a friend. Vickie was a bonus big sister for our group of friends, inherited through marriage when she became one of our friend’s sister in law. For me, she was a role model and in the sea of physicians in our group, she was a fellow educator. Most of all, she LOVED kids and poured her heart into them fully whether they were her own or not. She’s the type of educator we all admire and hope our own kids can have. It was fitting that she was buried on her favorite holiday because it was about kids. The priest shared with the packed church, full of family, friends, and former students, that she loved them fully. Her love was so deep, she battled stage 4-colon cancer for the past four years enduring 70 rounds of chemo and 2 clinical trials to stay alive not for herself but for those she loved. She always had a smile on her face and didn’t complain about the discomfort and pain. There is great sacrifice for a love like that. Many of us have been touched by cancer and have seen firsthand what chemo and cancer does to a body. From her initial diagnosis to final breath, Vickie spent every second focused on relationships and making sure those around her were going to be okay. Relationships.
In our day-to-day time with kids, we make hundreds of decisions every day about learning and teaching. How many of those decisions about learning and teaching are connected to our content versus building/sustaining relationships with kids? Or are they all interconnected and we build those relationships with kids through teaching our content? Do we really need to have relationships with kids in order to teach our content? When we pause and reflect on our work, how do we want kids to remember our class and teaching? What will they have learned? What do we know about each of our kids? When we problem solve around kids, do we know them well enough to know why the negative behavior is occurring? Why is our crazy principal babbling about relationships? The questions are endless.
The reality is that we pour our hearts into kids each day. What we pour into each of them looks different from one teacher to the next but we pour just the same. Twenty years from now, how will our kids remember what we poured? It’s not a secret that I believe middle school is the most impactful period in kids’ lives. As middle school educators, it’s easy to feel underappreciated and frustrated by the behavior of kids who don’t seem to get it or are super self-involved. It’s easy to fall into the trap of focusing on those behaviors and letting the frustration take hold. The frustration begins to take away from what we pour and sometimes affects (positive or negative) what others pour. I leave you with this, a place each individual educator has to come to, is it building the relationship first that is most important or teaching the content? In twenty years, will kids remember they loved your class because of the content or because of the relationship they built with you that allowed the content to become more meaningful?
This week, across the building, I witnessed relationships in a variety of ways. Kids in Art 1 created beautiful bowls to donate to the Webster Rock Hill Ministries annual Empty Bowls dinner. They not only learned how to craft these beautiful pieces of art but how to also serve others in the community who are food insecure. I witnessed students in ELA 7 celebrate their writing by demonstrating vulnerability and inviting each other to read their pieces. In Spanish classes, kids learned about Dia de los Muertos and the significance of someone else’s culture and celebrations and try Pan de Muerto. I witnessed teachers and the lone brave administrator show kids they still love to have fun and sacrificed themselves for the pie-throwing contest, taking one in the face. It was a moment of kids and adults alike screaming and laughing and standing on chairs, having fun together. Relationships.
Acquisition, meaning making and transfer connects deeply to the relationships we create with kids. While kids do learn with teachers they don’t have relationships with, imagine how much deeper what they learn can be with a relationship. Thank you for your continued work and reflection in best practices. What the world outside of education does not know is that nothing stays the same in our classrooms. We continually grow and evolve for kids and learning.
I see you. I see your heart. I see what you are pouring and it’s good stuff.
RACE Play, 11/6
On Wednesday, the Civic Arts will present a free 35 minute production titled RACE. It will be followed by a conversation for those wishing to stay. Please invite your family and friends out to our school for this production. The play will begin at 7pm in the auditorium. Flyer attached.
Orchestra Concert, 11/7
Join our talented students on Thursday at 6:30pm for their Fall concert!
Un-Conference, 11/10
WE Stories and Educators for Social Justice (ESJ) will co-host an Un-Conference at our school from 12-4pm. Join other educators from across St. Louis for conversations around the equity work happening in our schools. Share ideas and expand your professional learning network. The event is free and you can register on FB.
Faculty Mtg, 11/11
Our next faculty meeting is next Monday at 3:30pm in the cafeteria.
OUTS for This Week
· Sarah and Linda out on Monday
· Aimee, Mike and Grace out on Thursday from 7:45-9:45am for Book Club Mtg @ CO
Happy November!
With gratitude,
Grace
